Saturday, July 31, 2004



Ever seen the movie "The Dentist"? Reality isn't too far off from fiction. Check this.

Thursday, July 29, 2004


So talk.

It’s another Thursday, so here I am writing again. I’ve designated Thursday as my “column day” though I might show up on other days to pitch in a minor article.
It’s often said that good communication and humour are signs of great intelligence. Now I’m not here to criticize people with weak vocabulary, rather make people aware that it’s not how big your words are, but how well you use them. Communication skills are the most essential ingredient in the recipe of life. I have absolutely no doubt in that statement. One of the top 10 candidates of The Apprentice, Troy McClain, made it all the way to the top with only a puny high school diploma. He didn’t even consider going into college, and yet his performance in The Apprentice has now placed him in an executive position in some firm. It’s all about how you make an impression, and making an impression is mostly based on how you present yourself and part of presenting yourself is through the way you talk.
This is true everywhere, it’s not exclusive to the business world. It’s good communication skills that make a person good with conversations, and being a good conversationalist is a plus factor on the attractiveness scale. I’ve come to judge that “wussup”, “sup”, or the even more respected “what’s up?” should no longer qualify as greetings. If I meet a person for the first time in my life and he greets me with a “what’s up” or equivalent, I have no choice but to overestimate the person’s communication skill to be less than or equal to 1, on a scale from 1 to 10. If the person remains silent, I’d give him a 5. There needs to be more variety when it comes to the choice of word/phrase. What’s more important is that you know what you are saying before you say it. If you don’t fully understand what a certain word/phrase means, avoid the embarrassment by not using it.

Here, Orwell’s 6 pointers should give you something to start with:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never us [sic] a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Until next time, fill me up with criticisms.


Edumacate our childrens!

Does public school make us dumber? Apparently it does.

Disclaimer: Although I went to public school, I feel in no way, dumberer than anyone else.

Monday, July 26, 2004


What is a clown?

Excess makeup + fake personality = clown.

Saturday, July 24, 2004


Give them a foot and they take you three steps beyond.

Am I the only person who finds the Socratic method slightly offensive? Lately, I have begun to take note of what's going on in my world and make mental file sheets to sort out the people, places and circumstances that I encounter daily. I've been doing this so much that my entire thought process has been comprised of forming aphorisms and applying them to everything. Compliments come with high expectations attached. Especially in a work environment. I'd like to know that when someone compliments me, they aren't doing it to gain my favour. You're still a jackass and I still can't stand your fake smile. But I'll kindly smile back. Also, insults are a sign of faltering imagination. If the only way you can try to deflate my abnormally large ego is to toss petty insults at me, you must realize that I will note your incompetence and remember that humiliating you will not be as nice as watching you fail. I'm not mean spirited, but you deserve it. Here's some food for thought: It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. It's even easier to die for them too. I just finished reading a book. It was OK but I felt dissatisfied with the ending. I think that's the story of my life. Disappointment at the worst possible time. Maybe I should lower my standards and join the masses. From now on, if I find the covers of a book to be too far apart, I'll put it on a diet and read every other chapter. I could have easily read every fifth chapter of that last book and felt slightly less disappointed at the end. But I digress. The purpose of my life, as of July 24, 2004: I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

If at any point in reading this entry you felt frustrated by the disconnected and random progression of thought then I would suggest you fill all the holes with segways so that your average mind can comprehend. By the way, perfection is a distant and fading beauty.

Thursday, July 22, 2004


Citius Altius Fortius

First things first, welcome Nab. Very pleased to have your input. I believe you will all benefit from his insight. Now back to our regularly scheduled program. Well, according to a recent poll, 87% of those surveyed in North America "Couldn't Care Less" that the Olympic Games in Athens, Greece are less than a month away. I assure you I am not among the disinterested majority. No, I give a damn. Why am I such an advocate of these games? Because I am a true believer in the will and strength of the corporate spirit. Every 4 years, at these summer games, the best of the best in the corporate world come together to showcase their strength as truly multi-national organizations. It brings a tear to my eye knowing that I share a common bond with some guy in China through not only McDonald's but perhaps Kodak or even Xerox. Every time I take a picture of myself with my tasty meat-flavoured Big Mac and photocopy that picture 16 times to post all over my room and send to my friends, I know I am playing my part as a responsible global citizen. So I suggest you do the same. Be a part of your community and help these nice people take over the world.

On a lighter note, it appears Nab has received his first hate mail. Well done Nab. For the Anonymous sender, I would suggest you see this. If you have done so already, I suggest you ask someone to help you read Rule 1, preferably someone outside your family since stupidity is genetic. Also if your comments contain any combination of the following: "LOL, LMAO, PLZ, JUS, and AIGHT", you will confirm your mental age and IQ are both single digit numbers and that the correct response to your comment will likely include but is not limited to: humiliation, degradation and personal attacks. Its like bullying the dumb kid at school, I'm sure your type are very familiar with that concept. Hopefully this harsh yet just approach to blog policing will not deter the average reader. I hope this is fair warning for those individuals who find the spelling of "the" is far too complicated and prefer "teh".
Note: I didn't make up "Schlumberger", as funny as it sounds. And no, John Hancock has nothing to do with what you think. They are both real companies.


Enter the Nabuchadnezzar

Nabuchadnezzar (hereafter known as Nab) now enters the realm of Nineteen. Here I come, to bring light where darkness prevails. To bring insight where ignorance resides. Etc.

Like RealTM, you may start to notice the note of all-knowing-ness in my logs. However, my all-knowingness is genuine. I can probably tackle every problem your mind can muster. From modern political issues to emotional problems with your boyfriends/girlfriends. Try me.

If you have something to comment on, I advice you to do so. Keeping thoughts and feelings locked within you is not healthy (not that I care about your health), thought identifying yourself in your comment would be half-decent so at least I know how to address you in my comebacks (otherwise I'd just go for "jackass".) No, "jackass" is not copyrighted.

Update: For the jackass who's posting comments about strangers, I present you a double-cream serving of this.
Another Update: This site, being in its early stages of growth, is not known by a great crowd of people. Having said that, it's quite easy to tell who is commenting by the style of writing and use of vocabulary, given the assumption that the people commenting this far are people who know me in person and secretly hate me. And thanks to my ICT studies from highschool, I know enough to compare IP addresses.

Sue me.

Monday, July 19, 2004


You thought I was crazy...

...when I said:
Fox News' reports are "deliberately and consistently distorted and twisted to promote the Republican Party of the U.S. and an extreme right-wing viewpoint."
And you all laughed at me. Well, the last laugh is on you my friend.

Sunday, July 18, 2004



I cower back to my throne...slightly wounded. Actually, believe it or not, I wasn't saving the world the past few weeks. I've been busy, to say the least. I kinda promised you a movie review but I'm sure you've all gotten something on you're own. All I have to say is, GO SEE IT. Back to what's important, namely Me. I'm really going to start posting more often. Honestly. The catch is, my narcissism will only grow as my posts increase. So you ask, "What has he been busy with lately?" Well, I've started my own company. I am not at liberty to divulge any further information right now, but I'll let you know when I can. I've also been busy planning my university life. So far so good. I've narrowed it down to 8 chicks I'll be rooming with. The final cut will be in a week and only 3 will remain in my room. Its like "Survivor: Allstars" fused with the "Playmates" edition of "Fear Factor". Really exciting. I've got some people I have problems with on the internet. One of them is fairly famous for his acid tongue and masterful writing but alas it is I who is destined to knock him of his pedestal of pseudo pirate mutiny and misogynism. Many of you may know him as "Maddox". Personally, I hate his entrails...I mean guts. Only because he doesn't respond to well written hate mail, or hate mail he cannot grammatically and logically rape. He doesn't acknowledge the fact that he is a moderately funny yet grossly overrated web celebrity. He may have been cool when it was cool to sound like you hate the world, but sorry kids, that fad is gone. He'll have to find another way to attract the web-addicted, angst-filled 12-16 year old demographic lest he be shamed by the one and only RealTM. And I'm sure "Maddox" doesn't read this, or atleast doesn't acknowledge that he does but I suggest as many people as possible send him well written hate mail. If he's anything like I think, and I think he's a lot like I think, he'll ask his wife/girlfriend/significant other, whom I will not demean yet, if he can try to take me down. That's enough about the poor guy. I'll humiliate him later. Live long and....I think it's prosper. Not sure. Someone look that up please.

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