Tuesday, August 10, 2004

 

Cogito, Ergo Sum.

I think, therefore I am. But what about those who don't think? What about the countless numbers of people I run into daily who seem to be incapable of putting together a logical, rational thought that hasn't already been fabricated by customs, or traditions or "common sense". I'm talking about the people who will say something so irrational that you can question whether or not they are capable of swallowing their spit while breathing. For example: Today at work one of my co-workers, after seeing a fan that had been on for the entire night before, said "Oh, that poor fan. It's been on all night." I didn't know whether to hit her with a hot iron or run home and write a blog about it. How on earth can you feel empathy for an inanimate object? This woman had to apply another one of her prefabricated thoughts to something that does not even fit the criteria for what you can apply it to. At that moment, I thought: What if someone doesn't think for a moment? Would they cease to exist?. Imagine people disappeared into thin air when they didn't think.

Let me focus my rant on a certain group of individuals. I believe I have discovered what ails these people. I have termed it "Accepted Absurdity Disorder" or "AAD". A mental disorder, AAD renders sufferers utterly useless to society. Ironically, this disorder is in effect created by said society. Generally, a person suffering from AAD is unable to recognize the difference between an absurd and a rational thought, making him/her nearly incapable of having an intelligent thought. AAD comes from a collection of prefabricated thoughts and thought patterns similar to cliches that accumulate in an already weak mind. The weak mind accepts these thoughts as originals and resorts to them as often as possible. The thoughts and thought patterns come from many sources but alone they are harmless. It is only when they accumulate in a weak mind that they become "Art-ideos" or "Artificial Ideas" that are to blame for the suffering an humiliation suffered by most people with AAD.

Sufferers of AAD are easily recognizable. The most obvious symptom is lack of communication skills. A few nights ago, while I was chatting with friends on MSN Messenger a girl began to talk to me. I talked back and we began a conversation. The conversation somehow turned into an argument. Now, I'm paraphrasing but not embellishing the conversation.

Girl: Talk.
RealTm: OK
(Long pause because I was busy with other conversations)
RealTm: So what's new.
Girl: Ummm....nothing.
(Another long pause)
Girl: Talk to me
RealTm: You're not making it easy.
Girl: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!
RealTm: It means what is says.
(Long pause)
RealTm: How's it going with you and that guy?
Girl: Good.
RealTm: So what are you two doing now? Dating?
Girl: What is this, 21 questions?
RealTm: No, its a two part question.
Girl: Well, it's none of your business.
RealTm: OK.
(Long pause)
Girl: You always have to have the last word don't you?
RealTm: No.
Girl: I'm going to bed. Good night.
RealTm: Good night.
(I close the window and carry on with my life.)
(Moments Later)
Girl: Go to bed.
RealTm: No.
(I'm thinking WTF)
Girl: What is this all about?
(I'm hoping she isn't getting philosophical)
RealTm: What?
Girl: This argument
(Now I'm more than slightly pissed off)
RealTm: Frankly, I couldn't care less. But I will give you a hint why we are having it. Its because you are by far the worst conversationalist I have ever met in my life. If your dull mind were capable of putting together one set of ideas even vaguely comprehensible you wouldn't need to bother me with these infantile yacks you call conversations.
Girl: You talk to much (sic)
(I'm thinking: unbelievable. You come back online to talk to me after we end our conversation and then you tell me I talk too much? Someone should stick an explosive penis down your throat.)
RealTm: I've had enough of this mindless banter. Go to bed.

When I realized that that girl must have had AAD I felt somewhat bad. And she isn't the only one. There are millions of other people like her who have no idea what they are suffering from. The only solution is detoxification of the mind and daily reading of anything published on Nineteen. Other than lack of communication skills, these people are recognized by their contrite speech patterns around dominant males and authority figures, inability to use inductive and deductive reason no matter how simple the problem may be and their proneness to use sentences with improper subject/verb agreement when it doesn't sound cool (RealTm don't know what's that all about).

There is help. Seek and ye shall find.

Comments:
How old is this girl anyways? i think she likes u!! y would anyone try to be so pushy?
 
This is going to be a classic article. I can relate it to a number of people I know (unfortunately.)
 
As to why would anyone try to be so pushy, the article itself explains why. AAD, coupled by inability to carry on a conversation. See the "So talk." blog, which makes a direct reference to people who initiate a conversation with "talk".
 
That's harsh man, it could be that she likes you. I've got to admit though I actually know people with AAD, and its sad to know that especially now that I can diagnose them with it.
 
you've done it again. pure genious.

Creasy
 
That's harsh man, it could be that she likes you. I've got to admit though I actually know people with AAD, and its sad to know that especially now that I can diagnose them with it.
 
Interesting article RealTm. At first it did seem a bit harsh toward the idiots, but what can I say, you pretty much get sickened after daily encounters with assholes, especially the ones who are too full of themselves...
 
Well, at least your statements aren't arrogant OR judgemental! Kudos!
 
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